caminante haciendo camino
a date, sort of
2005-01-12 | 9:08 p.m.

Oh, shit. I think I might have just agreed to a date, of sorts, with Tom.

Iím sure that part of the reason for my quick acquiescence was that Iíve been thinking a lot about him lately. Dreaming about him. Ok, ok, fantasizing about him. Itís certainly not the first time.

Weíve been friends for a long time. Since college. It seems like eons. And, except for one inebriated night when we first met, weíve never been sexually intimate. Thatís not to say that there hasnít been plenty of sexually charged banter, flirting of various sorts, and our soon-to-be-repeated field trip to the local swingersí clubs.

It was about four years ago. The topic of swingersí clubs crept into the conversation one night. We both discovered that we were both very curious, yet equally unwilling to sate our curiosity alone or with someone that we were dating. The solution seemed obvious. Weíd go together. We trusted each other. We knew it was ďsafeĒ to go together. It was an excellent way to satisfy our curiosity within the safety zone of our friendship and trust.

So we did. One night we hit about three or four clubs. Some places were just like your corner bar Ė we had a few drinks, played a few games of pool, saw nothing worth staying around for, and we left. Other places were positively surreal. Iíll never forget the woman in the viewing room. She must have been in her late 40s or early 50s. When we walked in, she was bent over sucking off a man sitting on the arm of the couch. Most of the other men, about 5 or 6 in all, were standing around stroking themselves, obviously waiting their turn in line. One of the men, unwilling to wait his turn, approached her from behind. She didnít even notice he was there until he entered her. She casually glanced back. ďHi,Ē he said as he glanced down to where he was pumping into her as if belatedly asking permission. She shrugged, ďI just like to know whoís back there.Ē Absolutely surreal.

So, today, Iím online when Tom pops up on my screen. I send off a quick IM, just saying hello. Hereís what the resulting conversation looked like:

Me: Hey there, Tomas! What are you up to?
Tom: hi! surfiní for porn. and you?
Me: Ha! Itís good to know that some things never change. Me? A little work, a little nothing much.
Tom: as you said, some things never change.
Tom: When you coming to Phx so we can hit the clubs again?
Me: why? Fiona wonít go with you? [Editorís Note: Fiona is his wife.]
Tom: Yes. But itís not the same.
Tom: I was thinking last time when we got back to the car, I should have pulled you over and...
Tom: Woops.
Tom: Sorry.
Me: Sorry for what?
Tom: I didnít know whether what I had been thinking would be well received.
Me: Ha! You probably should have. After what weíd just seen Iíd have probably happily complied with anything that you would have suggested.
Tom: HAH!
Tom: So when Fi goes out of town next month youíll go with me?
Me: Sure. Call me. Itís a date, um, or something.


I donít know whether heíll really call. I donít know whether Iíll really go if he does. Itís too much to contemplate tonight.

Listening To: Law & Order
Reading: Ancestors of Avalon
Feeling: stunned

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