caminante haciendo camino
fantasy in red
2004-01-21 | 8:28 p.m.

I told him I was just teasing. It was what he needed to hear. But was I?

I guess I should back up a bit. Tom and I chatted a bit online tonight. Things got playful and soon the banter took on a decidedly sexual undertone. When he was the first to back off from this game of verbal chicken, he asked whether I was just messing with his mind, or if I was serious. Too be honest, I donít know the answer to that question.

Tom and I have been friends for a long time, and, except for once when we first met, weíve been only friends (field trips together to the local swingersí clubs notwithstanding). Heís now married, going to be a dad soon, and unquestionably off limits. But Iíd be lying to myself if I said that I hadnít entertained a fantasy or two about him.

So, given the opportunity to have some Tom loviní, would I? The idea certainly has merit.

The pros: I am almost certain that Tom would be a really good fuck. (Do you need any more pros?) Well, just in case, I love him dearly as one of my best friends and few people make me laugh the way Tom does, so the great sex would also involve tenderness and laughter. Both good things. And, because I think it bears repeating, I think the sex would be really good.

The cons: Well, there is the whole wife and child thing. Definitely a minus in this fantasy equation. But the biggest negative would be the possibility of fucking up a really great friendship. My track record for successfully mixing friendship with sex pretty much sucks. Iíve only tried it once, and I had the misfortune of falling in love and, thereby, complicating a friendship beyond repair, losing a lover, and seriously bruising my self-esteem all in the process of that one long and painful tumble. Not a process Iíd like to repeat any time soon.

So, I guess that answers my question. I value our friendship too much to put it on the line. But a girl can still fantasize, canít she?

Listening To:

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