caminante haciendo camino
winter weather woes
2005-01-08 | 4:23 p.m.

It’s been snowy and icy and as cold as a witch’s left toe around here this week . . . and, yes, it’s felt more like a cold left toe than a cold left tit.

On Monday I had to walk down the hill of death to the courthouse in ankle deep snow. Ethan came to our rescue by volunteering to push our crate-o-files down the hill. I don’t think there’s any way that I could have managed myself and the files. As it was, I barely got myself down that damn hill in one piece. Let me say, at the onset, that the boots that I bought two weeks ago in a misguided attempt at appropriate winter footwear, well, they SUCK. No, that’s not entirely true. They’re really cute, and they’re comfortable, but they are certainly NOT winter-weather-appropriate. So, with these wanna-be-boots, I headed down the hill of death. I was slippin’ and slidin’ all over the place and seriously considering grabbing one of those files and using it as a sled to get down that hill. Before I could improvise a sled, a couple who was also trying to get down the hill took me by the hand, and in a all for one, one for all, Three-Musketeerish sort of way, we managed to get to the bottom. Imagine my chagrin when I called the first defendant’s name and the woman who just held my hand down the hill stood up.

Our office entertainment all week long has been watching from our conference room window as car after car slid down the hill of death. It wasn’t so funny, though, when one of our co-workers slid into the phone poll. She was fine, but her car was totaled. Yesterday, a semi-truck tried to make it down the hill. Foolish, foolish man. He finally slid to a stop less than three inches from another car parked on the hill. I tow truck had to be called to pull him to safety. So, of course, the entertainment took on an additional twist as we watched cars sliding down the hill while attempting to avoid both the tow truck and the oddly angled semi-truck. The city is partly to blame for the mess that is that damn hill. The street in front of our office, the main street through town, is always closed in inclement weather, precisely because the hilly street gets icy and treacherous. But, the city seems unconcerned that the street onto which much of the traffic is routed has an even steeper incline – fondly referred to herein as the hill of death. I have no idea why they don’t close this street as well, other than maybe to keep the tow trucks in business.

The day before yesterday I managed a very ungraceful and altogether painful slip on the iced cement. I was leaving for work. I put on my coat, gloves, and scarf. I grabbed my purse and my briefcase. I locked the front door, turned, and managed one solid step on to the patio. In a nanosecond my feet were flying out from under me, by body was twisting in a highly unnatural way, I was landing with a hard thump on my ass, my elbow was coming down hard on the cement, and my head was snapping back with a resounding “thwack” as it made contact with my icy patio. I laid there stunned for a moment, silently inventorying all my body parts to make sure everything was still working. As I was lying in a virtual cement lake of ice, I carefully and slowly crawled back to my front door. I figured it wasn’t such a good idea to drive to work while I was still seeing black spots. So I came back inside until my head was feeling steadier. I had a killer headache afterwards. But, fortunately, the fall resulted in no lingering effects other than some soreness.

I wasn’t the only one to make painful contact with an icy surface this week. At least a half a dozen co-workers had slips this week.

The inclement weather was forecasted to last through the weekend and until the middle of next week. I canceled my regular trip down to the valley this weekend. I didn’t want to hazard driving on icy roads. So far today, though, it’s been nice – no rain, no snow, just clouds and some wind.

Just in case the forecast proves true, and we get more snow, I went out today and bought me some weather proof hiking shoes with soles that look like the tires on a 4x4. I feel much more prepared for my trek down the hill of death on Monday. And I’m sure I’ll look lovely in my navy business suit and my grey 4x4 hiking shoes, thankyouverymuch.

Listening To: The Mask of Zorro...Antonio Banderas, yum...Catherine Zeta-Jones, double yum
Reading: Ancestors of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Feeling: cold and still a bit sore

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