caminante haciendo camino
the mists of loneliness
2004-12-08 | 10:11 p.m.

It was a long drive to court in the northern part of the county this morning. But I don’t mind the long drives. They give me time to unwind, to reflect, to consider, to plan, and sometimes to dream.

This morning was a morning filled with mists and mystery. The fog clung to the ground, filled the crevices between hills, and crawled along the highway. The mists were eerily beautiful as they encased me in my own private world of clouds.

Separated from the rest of the world by the mists, my mind wondered into unexpected places. I am normally comfortable in my solitude. But today, the sense of aloneness was enhanced by the foggy morning drive, and I experienced a soul-deep loneliness that I’ve rarely felt. The yearning for a human connection, for touch, for conversation, for shared experience was shattering.

The loneliness was fleeting. Within minutes the fog cleared, the morning sky shone bright, and the snow capped mountains once again dominated the horizon. The ache of loneliness lifted with the mists. But an echo of that loneliness has remained with me all day, like a distant dream shrouded in mists.

Listening To: the loud steps of my upstairs neighbor
Reading: nothing at the moment
Feeling: discomfitted

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