caminante haciendo camino
all locked up and ready to go
2004-08-12 | 3:30 p.m.

Well, there you have it. Iím all locked up. Hopefully this will cure the hesitation Iíve been feeling about writing here. To those that are here, thank you for wanting to read what I have to write.

Ok, letís see. Where were we when we were so rudely interrupted by unwelcome eyes?

Ah, yes. Work.

As of today, I have 22 days of employment left. My stint as an exalted law clerk with a federal judge comes to an end on September 3rd.

ďWhat next?Ē you may ask.

ďI HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA!!!Ē would be my anxiety-ridden response.

You heard right. I have no job to go to come September 7th.

The job with the federal prosecutorial agency is up and down, but mostly down. I received a call from Mr. Head Honcho about 3 weeks ago. He told me that I was one of a handful of final interviewees, out of over 500 applicants for the job, my resume was very impressive, my references couldnít say enough good things about me, yada, yada, yada... ďWe decided to go with someone with more [read: any] trial experience.Ē Bastards.

After yelling, and crying, and throwing a few things, I resigned myself to the disappointing fact that I wasnít going to be able to work for this particular agency. At least not until I garnered some trial experience. Just as I was getting used to the idea, I ran into Judge M2 who tells me that she is still advocating on my behalf behind the scenes. She said that there is a possibility that this agency will have a couple of positions open here in Phoenix (instead of Tucson like the job that I didnít get) and that if thatís the case, sheís lobbying to get me into one of those slots.

So, although Iíve received the ďthanks, but no thanksĒ from them, there is still a possibility (albeit a slim one) that something will pan out. Hence, the up and down part.

Seeing that the only deficiency in my resume is my lack of trial experience, I have proceeded with Plan B of Project Get A Damn Job. Namely, Iíve applied to the county prosecutorís office. I have an interview on September 3rd. (Odd coincidence, I know.) If I get an offer from them, I wouldnít be starting until mid-October.

So, unless something else happens, it looks as if Iím going to be on vacation (aka ďunemployedĒ) for about 6 weeks.

Which, really, isnít that bad. I canít remember the last time I had a vacation. And, with all the work travel this year, Iím really looking forward to some uninterrupted down time at home.

Paying the bills might get tricky. But Iím sure Iíll work things out somehow.

I say that with such bravado. Truth is, Iím pretty damned stressed about the whole thing....not having a job, not getting the job I really wanted, not having an income for a while. Basically, Iím a ďplanner.Ē I get more than a little freaked out when I donít have a plan. Right now I donít have a plan beyond September 3rd and itís freaking me right the hell out.

But, you know what? Just writing it down seems to lessen the anxiety somewhat. Damn, I missed this place. Itís good to be back, even if itís under lock and key.

Listening To: nothing...except the traffic outside
Reading: nothing...although there's plenty here that I should be reading
Feeling: slightly less anxious

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