My faith in humanity has been restored. And, equally important as November approaches, my faith in the democratic voting process has been bolstered.

The results are in and 67% of you agree that sticking baby carrots up your nose and then eating them is objectively gross.

A few things I learned from this poll:

1. Those who read this diary are infinitely more squeamish intelligent than those who read my co-worker�s blog, as only 28% of her respondents thought it was gross.

2. The depths of grossness that you�re subjected to by motherhood frightens me and engenders serious doubts about whether I want to ever bear children of my own. Over 60% of those who said it wasn�t so gross to eat snotty carrots were mothers who were basing their response, at least in part, on the various forms of disgusting behavior that their children engage in.

3. Apparently the rule on post-bathroom hand washing is more flexible than I thought. But, please, if you�re one of the ones who don�t always wash, wear a warning label on your forehead for any would-be handshakers that happen to be more fastidious cleanly than you. And, for the record, I wash. Every time. No exceptions. So, if we ever have the pleasure of meeting in person, you can shake my hand with confidence. (Unless, you�re one of the no-washers. In which case, I�ll acknowledge your presence with only a curt nod.)

Since I�m up to my eyebrows in work, I won�t have time to post individual replies to your notes and comments. So, I hereby express my universal thanks for your vote, your wit, your proven intelligence, and your general coolness to the following: andnowwhat, argolam, bingoguy, chailife, dangerspouse, hissandtell, ilmomof3, jerryjayray, lealoo, leftunspoken, marsist, ms-do, ozarklily, pandionna, quietflames, rs536-2000, r-y-r, sixweasels.

If the carrot up the nose episode wasn�t sufficiently indicative of the level of stress under which we are operating at work right now, my co-worker had an excessive reaction to the poll results, that I can only hope is a result of her over-worked state rather than a general reflection of her personality. As it became increasingly clear that she was going to lose the popular vote, she became more and more irritated and overly-sensitive to the often expressed idea that such behavior was childish and plainly unwise. She was so worked up about her loss at the polls, that I wouldn�t have been surprised to see her petition the Supreme Court in order to have them decide who won. It certainly wouldn�t have been the first time it was done.

Oh, well. She�ll get over it eventually. And, with any luck, she�ll henceforth refrain from such unseemly behavior. Well. This is the woman who has freely admitted to playing with her menstrual discharge and who doesn�t feel it necessary to wash after going to the bathroom. So, maybe not.

But, a benefit to her being annoyed with me at the moment (why she�s annoyed with me when she�s the one who stuck the carrot up her nose and then ate it is probably indicative of some disturbing personality trait as opposed to work-related stress, but that�s too long of an issue to delve into in a parenthetical aside) is that she�s unlikely to engage in such disgusting conduct in my office any more (the carrots, I mean, not the playing with fleshy bits part . . .um, what I mean is she won�t be doing either in my office . . . although she�s never done the latter in my presence (thank the gods), only the former, and that was gross enough).

My point is, I think she�s now clear on the fact that I don�t want any gross and disgusting behavior, of any kind, in my presence, ever.

(Cock sucking, twat licking, sundry forms of kissing, and assorted sexual behavior, deviant or otherwise, excluded, of course.)

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Golfwidow is right. This is the best quiz. Ever.

You are Thongs.

Which Tattodnanny Obsession Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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A little fun courtesy of marsist: you can find out whether your username has a color. (I think this only works with Internet Explorer...)

1. Copy [font color=anonadada72][big][b]anonadada72[/b][/big][/font]

2. replace anonadada72 with your username.

3. replace []'s with <>'s.

These are my results:

anonadada72

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And last, but most certainly not least, sincerest GRACIAS go out to andnowwhat and la-the-sage for adding me to their favorites list. I read them regularly as they are both smart and sassy, and I like smart and sassy. Thanks, ladies.

Listening To: the annoying hum of my computer
Reading: legal briefs, cases, statutes, sentencing guidelines -- aka, boring legal crap
Feeling: vindicated