This morning we were going to have a wedding. The JP was booked, the liquor was stocked, and the bride and groom to be were on their way to get a license.

Not much else is needed in order to legally bind yourself together in matrimonial bliss. (Ok, the liquor isn't a requirement, per se. But, just look around at most married couples, and you know most marriages must have involved copious amounts of liquor. And if any doubt remains that large quantities of liquor is as vital to a hastily planned wedding as an officiant, I have two words for you . . . Britney Spears.)

So all was set. Then the father of the soon-to-be bride, went into a mouth-foaming rage when he was told that his daughter was planning on getting married. His anger wasn't for all the reasons you might think . . . daughter, have you really thought about this? do you love him? does he love you? why the rush? why not wait until you can have a proper wedding?, etc. etc. No. Instead, the ass-hole that used to be my uncle and that, unfortunately for Yesenia will always be her father, was stark raving mad because she was marrying Michiel instead of the ass-wipe of an ex-boyfriend who routinely abused her with words and fists. What?!?! And here I thought my level of respect for the ex-uncle could get no lower. Silly me.

So, the wedding didn't happen. Instead they're engaged and will marry when his army stint is up in a year and half. Consolation prize: I got them a room at a nice resort for the night. Go forth and fuck, was my sage advise, for this, their last night together.

I'd like to say that the drama of the past 24 hours is highly unusual for my family. But, alas, unreasonableness, emotional outbursts and histrionics abound in these parts. The question that will confound me for all time: how in the bloody hell did I proceed from this same gene pool?

Since I had taken half a day off of work, and the wedding was in the shitter by noon, I had lunch with Steph instead. We went to Pita Jungle. We hadn't been there since law school. Mmmmm. The tzatziki nearly sent us both into orgasmic fits. I don't know if it was really good tzatziki, or if we both just haven't had sex in way too long. I suspect the latter.

It's getting late, and I have an early morning. So, off to bed . . . happy tzatziki dreaming everyone.

~J.

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